May 5, 2024: North America East Coast Dharma Q&A Tour (7) Virginia
“I end up bringing the stress from work home with me.”
Hello. Today, the seventh Dharma Q&A of Venerable Pomnyun Sunim’s 2024 North America East Coast tour took place in Virginia, close to Washington D.C.
Venerable Pomnyun Sunim started his day at 5 AM with practice and meditation at the Washington Jungto Center. Today also marks the start of a series of meetings in Washington D.C. focused on peace on the Korean peninsula.
After completing his morning practice and having breakfast, he worked on some tasks before heading to the home of Mr. Jason Lim at 10:30 AM for lunch.
Jason Lim began volunteering as an English interpreter for Sunim during his college days at Harvard Kennedy School in January 2006. Since graduating and working in Washington D.C, Jason has consistently aligned his vacation time with Sunim’s schedule for the past 19 years to volunteer as an interpreter whenever Sunim visited North America. He is also interpreting for Sunim during the current visit.
After enjoying a carefully prepared lunch by Mrs. Lim, Sunim expressed his gratitude to the Lim family.
In the afternoon, he headed to a Korean center in Annandale for a meeting scheduled at 2 PM with Mr. Olin Wethington, a U.S. security expert.
Upon arriving at the meeting venue, Mr. Wethington and Ms. Katrina Delgado greeted Sunim.
Mr. Wethington, who formerly worked at the Treasury Department, is a director of the Atlantic Council, a think tank specializing in international affairs in the United States. He has served as a special envoy to China, an advisor to the Secretary of the Treasury, Deputy Under Secretary of the Treasury for International Affairs, and a special advisor to the President at the White House Economic Policy Council.
“I really love Korea. I have visited Korea about 40 times and always stopped by the DMZ. I am very interested in solving the problem of the division of the Korean peninsula.”
“Thank you.”
After a warm exchange of greetings, Mr. Wethington sought Venerable Pomnyun Sunim’s words of wisdom.
What Is the Solution to the Heightened Risk of War on the Korean peninsula?
“I think the most dangerous place in the world is the Korean peninsula. We need a peaceful solution. That’s why I want to hear your opinion on this issue. Right now, the war between Ukraine and Russia may be a bit more of a priority. However, when looking at the Global Risk Index, I think the risk of war on the Korean peninsula is a very serious problem.”
Before answering Mr. Wethington’s question, Sunim first shared why he became involved in advocating for peace on the Korean peninsula.
“I originally intended to become a scientist, but in my first year of high school, I became a monk due to the influence of a monk from a temple near my school. Consequently, I did not have the opportunity to study in the U.S., so I do not speak English. I apologize that we have to communicate through an interpreter.”
“I’m sorry we don’t speak Korean. Don’t worry.”
“I regard Buddhism not as a religion but as a practice for governing one’s mind. I hope people can live happier lives without suffering, which is prevalent in our society. This has led me to engage in various social issues. My involvement with the North Korean issue began when there was a massive famine there, and I felt compelled to help them. I am from the southern part of South Korea, and I had never experienced or suffered from war. However, during a historical tour to China, I met North Korean refugees and learned about their suffering, which prompted me to start my humanitarian efforts. And I began visiting the U.S. frequently and inform the world about people’s suffering from famine in North Korea.
I believe that while we can criticize the country of North Korea, its people have the right to receive humanitarian aid. Initially, my activities mainly involved investigating and informing the Western world that over two million people had died of starvation in North Korea. Since many North Korean refugees fled their country because of the famine, I began to help them. I appealed to various international organizations, including the UNHCR, to solve this issue, but they could not assist unless China recognized them as refugees. Therefore, our team members were arrested by the Chinese government while helping North Korean refugees at the border. I also facilitated the entry and settlement of North Korean refugees in South Korea.
Through these activities, I realized that without resolving the peace issue on the Korean peninsula, the North Korean government cannot focus on improving human rights or alleviating the suffering of its people. Therefore, I became involved in the peace movement. Since the North Korean government had to prioritize national security, it was inevitable that human rights violations and suffering from hunger among its people would continue. Thus, I worked hard to facilitate the Six-Party Talks while having numerous discussions with Ambassador Joseph DeTrani, who was then the special envoy to North Korea. I also collaborated extensively with Mr. Andrew Natsios, the head of USAID, to address North Korea’s famine issue.”
“He is a good man. I know him.”
“My original focus was on humanitarian support and resolving human rights issues of the North Korean people, but since the root cause was the peace issue on the Korean peninsula, I established a foundation called ‘The Peace Foundation’ to research and work on peace issues on the peninsula with many researchers.
As Mr. Wethington mentioned, there is a high risk of war on the Korean peninsula. Although a war has not broken out yet, if it does, it will inevitably cause astronomical damage not only to Korea but also to neighboring countries. Currently, the relationship between North and South Korea is very tense with the cessation of dialogue between North Korea and the U.S. Therefore, I met with senior Japanese politicians last February to discuss improving relations between Japan and North Korea, which I believe is very important in easing the tension. As Mr. Wethington mentioned, we must find a way to prevent war from ever occurring again on the Korean peninsula.
Currently, the greatest threat is the continual advancement and increasing quantity of North Korea’s nuclear capabilities, facilitated by military cooperation between North Korea and Russia. How we can mitigate this is a critical issue. I believe that the current U.S. policy of strengthening military cooperation between South Korea, Japan, and the U.S. serves as a military response to North Korea’s military threats but does not effectively prevent the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction. I believe it may even exacerbate the situation.”
“No, I welcome your thoughts on this. I share your concern.”
Mr. Wethington asked Sunim for advice regarding solutions to North Korea’s accelerated nuclear development, especially appreciating Sunim’s efforts in holding dialogues with Japanese politicians and persuading them as part of the solution to the North Korean nuclear issue.
Sunim pointed out that both hardline and conciliatory policies toward North Korea have not been effective and offered advice on what policy the United States should adopt in the current changing circumstances.
“North Korea’s position has changed significantly from the past. China and Russia hold different opinions from the United States in the UN Security Council, and currently, North Korea is obtaining most of what it wants through Russia, thus reducing the need for dialogue with the U.S. Above all, through Russia, North Korea has been gradually obtaining the core technologies of weapons of mass destruction that it had not been able to develop. This is posing a significant threat to South Korea, the U.S., and Japan.
First, North Korea’s nuclear development must be stopped. In the past, normalization of North Korea-U.S. relations was seen as an exit strategy for denuclearization, but now, due to changed circumstances, it should be considered an entry strategy. Quickly ending the war between Russia and Ukraine is also one way to improve the situation. However, that is not easy at the moment. Easing the conflict between the U.S. and China is another way, as it would also delay the improvement of relations between North Korea and China. But that too is not easy at present. Therefore, I believe the fastest route is for the U.S. to negotiate directly with North Korea. Regardless of which administration takes office in the U.S., they should not leave North Korea to its own devices but should intervene more actively and engage in negotiations to prevent the spread of weapons of mass destruction.
If a War Breaks Out on the Korean Peninsula, It Is Highly Likely to Be a Nuclear War
If a war occurs on the Korean peninsula, it is highly likely to be a nuclear war. If there were to be a war, North Korea would be planning for a nuclear war. Thus, although the war between Russia and Ukraine is an immediate concern, I completely agree with Mr. Wethington’s point that a war on the Korean peninsula poses a far more serious risk. The current policy of the Biden administration, which leaves North Korea to its own devices, is leading to a continuous nuclear proliferation.”
“I completely agree with you. I think many Americans should listen to you.”
Ms. Katrina Delgado, who was also in attendance, asked Sunim a question. She showed a lot of interest in spiritual aspects.
What Is Happiness?
“It seems to me that you have talked and studied a lot about happiness. I’m curious about how the concept of happiness has changed.”
“Most people equate joy with happiness. In the human psyche, if there is joy, suffering will inevitably follow. However, people wish for joy without suffering. In reality, suffering and joy are cyclical. That’s why the Buddha referred to this cycle as ‘reincarnation.’ The way to escape reincarnation is to reach a state in which there is no suffering.
What constitutes health? There are men and women, adults and children, tall people and short people, but what is health? Health is being free from sickness. Similarly, happiness is the absence of suffering. Joy is not happiness; a state without suffering is happiness. In Pali, this is called ‘nibbana,’ and in Sanskrit, ‘nirvana.’ Suffering arises when our minds are in a negative state. Sadness, hatred, anxiety, worry, anger, and resentment are all negative states of mind. Happiness is the absence of such emotions. Joy is an elated state of mind. Being without suffering is a state of tranquility and peace. This can be described as sustainable happiness or true happiness.
Anyone can achieve true happiness. To do so, one must explore the cause of their suffering. The cause can be said to be attachment. More fundamentally, it’s ‘ignorance,’ or not knowing. When one lets go of attachment or overcomes ignorance, suffering disappears. Everyone can be happy, that is, they can reach a state without suffering. Therefore, I do not simply talk about sutras or doctrines; I encourage people to talk about their suffering or their doubts. While conversing with me, they come to recognize their biases or attachments . Letting go of attachment frees them from suffering. This is primarily what I do on a daily basis, whether individually or collectively. I came to the U.S. partly to engage in such conversations. This week, I also plan to engage in various activities for peace on the Korean peninsula.
The hungry must have food. The sick should be treated. Children should be educated. I am primarily involved in carrying out relief projects in impoverished countries. This also includes supporting the people of North Korea. We help those in need irrespective of religion, race, ethnicity, or politics, in line with the teachings of the Buddha and the spirit of the UN. However, once survival needs are met, suffering mainly arises from psychological reasons, so I believe people living in developed countries need to overcome their suffering through practice. I help treat their psychological unease or stress, receive donations, and use that money for humanitarian support in developing countries. Happiness is the absence of suffering.”
“Thank you. I didn’t go to church this morning although I usually do. I feel like I just heard a very good sermon.”
“I belong to Seon Buddhism.; Seon Buddhism holds the view that Buddha is not something outside of our minds. We are a Buddha when our minds are bright and light.”
“To me, you have an inner calm about you.”
“That is not always the case. I have had times of unrest, especially when I saw the bodies of North Koreans who starved to death during the Arduous March (North Korean famine) floating down the river. Since then, instead of harboring hatred or resentment, I have focused on what I can do to prevent such a tragedy. That has led me to where I am today.” (laughter)
“I think our country needs spiritual help. There’s a crisis of values. I think your work on behalf of human lives and democracy is very important, and I hope it continues for years.”
The scheduled two hours passed quickly. Everyone said their goodbyes, promising to meet again.
At 4:30 PM, Sunim held a Dharma Q&A for the Korean community at Thomas Jefferson High School. Upon arrival, we could see volunteers welcoming the attendees.
Sunim warmly greeted the volunteers and headed to the Dharma Q&A hall.
From around 300 attendees, Sunim received a warm round of applause as he went up on stage and began his opening remarks.
“Typically, when you visit a temple, the monk sits on the Dharma seat, and people sit on the floor to converse. This can make the atmosphere somewhat stiff, preventing people from freely sharing their stories. In the old days, they used to move the Dharma seat out of the hall to create a more comfortable setting for conversation. This allowed people to freely discuss various topics. This was called ‘yadan-beopseok.’ Yadan-beopseok does not mean noisy. It refers to a Dharma conversation held outdoors. Today’s setting is exactly like that of a yadan-beopseok. So, let’s start our yadan-beopseok.”
Following these remarks, people who had registered questions at the entrance of the auditorium took turns asking their questions. Eleven people had the opportunity to converse with Sunim for over two hours. One questioner said they took home the negative feelings they felt at work and asked for advice on how to manage that issue.
I bring stress from work home with me.
“I’ve been working for about seven years, but I still end up bringing home negative feelings from the office. How can I learn to be indifferent to these feelings?”
“What happens at work?”
“When I receive feedback from my boss to correct something I’ve done, it’s hard for me to think, “I’ll just make the correction.” Instead, I end up blaming myself, asking ‘Why couldn’t I do it right in the first place?’ This feeling continues even at home. I wish I could just let it go.”
“You are asking me if there is a way for you not to take home the negative feelings you felt at work.
You simply shouldn’t take them home with you. (laughter) But you’re asking me because it seems like they automatically follow your home, right? I can only tell you that there really is no other answer. You simply shouldn’t take them home, but since you say you can’t help it, the solution is to make sure such feelings don’t arise at work in the first place. You need to create a situation where there’s nothing to take home. If your boss tells you to correct something, just say ‘Yes, I will’ and make the correction. Why take it as a problem? There’s no need to be hurt by your boss’s comments. I think we should talk about this a little more.”
“Yes, I wanted to ask you why I feel hurt by my boss’s feedback. It makes me feel inadequate.”
“If someone tells us to correct something we did wrong, we should just fix it, right?”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Everyone makes mistakes. It’s a problem if you rationalize your faults by thinking, ‘Am I the only one who makes mistakes? Don’t you make any?’ However, if you admit ‘I made a mistake,’ then there is no problem. There’s no one in this world who does everything right. Even I make mistakes sometimes. There are instances when I insisted that I was right only to find out later that I was wrong.”
“Do you not blame yourself when that happens?”
“What does it mean when you blame yourself? If you know that you are someone who can make mistakes, then when you do make a mistake, you accept it by saying ‘It’s okay to make mistakes’ and simply say, ‘I made a mistake.’ But you blame yourself because you think ‘I am someone who can’t make mistakes.’ If you think you can’t make mistakes, but you do, that’s when you blame yourself. Do you think you’re someone who can’t make mistakes? You must be a very remarkable person.” (laughter)
“That’s not the case.”
“You are subconsciously presuming that you can’t make mistakes. But are you really someone who can’t make mistakes? Or are you someone who can?”
“I am someone who can make many mistakes.”
“So, what’s the problem if someone who can make mistakes does so? If your boss points it out, just say ‘I made a mistake. I will do better next time.’ Then, there’s no harm done. That means there is nothing to take home. You still look like you haven’t resolved the issue. If you have more questions, go ahead.”
“Logically, I understand, but emotionally, it’s not that easy.”
“Between reason and emotion, which do you think is correct?”
“I’m not sure.”
“When we make decisions, we’re told not to be too emotional and to be rational in our decisions. When you do something mindfully, it’s considered rational; when you do something mindlessly, it’s considered emotional, right?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Then, is it better to do things mindfully or mindlessly?”
“It’s better to do things mindfully.”
“If you’ve been doing something mindless and then realize you made a mistake, you can just say, ‘I made a mistake.’ When you make a mistake, you shouldn’t blame yourself but acknowledge it. Saying ‘I made a mistake’ doesn’t mean you’ve committed some grave sin. It doesn’t mean you’re deficient. Everyone can make mistakes. It’s just a matter of making more or fewer mistakes. There isn’t much of a difference. The reason you feel guilt or a sense of inferiority is that you unknowingly assume that you can’t make mistakes. If you think you can’t make mistakes, then when someone points out your mistakes, you feel hurt and shocked. So, from today, what kind of person should you consider yourself?”
“Someone who can make mistakes.”
“Is it normal for someone who can make mistakes to make mistakes, or is it abnormal?”
“It’s normal.”
“You are a normal person. So, there’s no need for you to blame yourself or feel guilty.”
“Yes, thank you.”
The questions continued:
– I’ve moved to a new job, but how can I work passionately again?
– Is it morally reprehensible to marry against my parents’ wishes? How can I overcome feeling abandoned by them?
– I graduated from a college in the U.S. and got a job, but I don’t feel truly integrated into American society. What attitude should I have to assimilate into the mainstream?
– Venerable Pomnyun Sunim, I am curious about how you established the Jungto Society.
– I am studying gerontology; which area of gerontology should I focus on in the future?
– Is there such a thing as fate? How can I always be happy like you, Sunim?
– My four-year-old son only speaks English and prefers to be close to my American in-laws, which makes me feel left out. How can I improve our relationship?
– Now that my life in the U.S. is stable, I want to return to Korea and start a new life. Is it okay to go back to Korea alone, leaving my family in the U.S.?
– The strife between neighbors, like the war between Palestine and Israel, affects my happiness. How can we create conditions for everyone to be happy?
Two hours had passed. The Dharma Q&A ended with a round of applause, and Venerable Pomnyun Sunim immediately began signing books on stage, making eye contact and exchanging greetings with each person.
One person said to Sunim, “I was at a point where I wanted to die, but your teachings saved my life. Thank you.”
After the Dharma Q&A, Sunim took a commemorative photo with the volunteers and left the venue.
As the sun set, at 7 PM, Sunim had a private meeting. Tomorrow, Sunim will be meeting with some members of the U.S. Congress to discuss reducing tensions on the Korean peninsula, and over dinner tonight, he sought advice from someone knowledgeable about the U.S. Congress.
After nearly two hours of discussion, Sunim returned to the Washington Jungto Center at 10 PM.
Tomorrow morning, Sunim will have a discussion with Professor Park Jin-young at American University on the topic of “Violence, Nonviolence, and Social Justice.” In the afternoon, he will meet with the chairperson of the Foreign Affairs Committee’s Asia-Pacific Subcommittee of the U.S. House of Representatives, and later meet with Dr. Jenkins from the Washington Times. Then, in the evening, in Washington D.C., he will hold a Dharma Q&A with English interpretation for an English-speaking audience.
